Madison Woolley

Madison Woolley

There is a day that singles everywhere despise. A day where bouquets of flowers are delivered to offices and proudly displayed on the desks of over enthralled recipients. Chocolates and card sales sky rocket, restaurants overflow with patrons trying to have a romantic dinner and reservations become scarce.  Hearts adorn stores trying to entice you to purchase gifts for your lover, friend or family members. Children send cards and gifts to their friends and loved ones. Love songs fill the air and hearts swoon and swell for the feeling that this day brings. This day is known by everyone. Single or in a relationship, we all know this day. If you guessed Valentines Day, you’d be correct.

This day brings such joy to so many people. For some it’s a great day to show our love and appreciation for others and for some it’s a day of doom and gloom. Honestly, we have all been there. Valentines Day rolls around and we see the shops and adds direct their advertisements to couples in love. They try to sell this idea that this day is mainly for couples or a fun holiday for children. Sadly though, as TV usually does, they false advertise. Valentines Day is for everyone, single or in a relationship. You may be thinking that I’ve probably had too many glasses of wine or bumped my head and am not thinking clearly. I can assure you I am not tipsy nor have I knocked my noggin. I was alone for many Valentines Days. I only recently (since I’ve been married) had a Valentine. When I was younger my mom would always give my brother and I unique Valentines Day gifts. Our school would send Candy Grams (gift bags filled with candy). I sadly would never get one from a secret admirer or friend (even though I had many friends). I would usually, however, receive one from my mom (who worked at the school at the time). She always made a way to make sure that my brother and I felt loved on the very day that was directed at couples. Those special Valentines gifts from my mom created a feeling will always stick with me.  It reminds me all the time that I didn’t have to have a boyfriend or be in a relationship to enjoy and love this holiday.

I am here to tell you that there is a way to avoid that dreaded Valentines slump and learn how to enjoy Valentines Day again. How you ask? Easy. Love yourself. Love your friends. Love your family. Show appreciation to those you love and those that maybe don’t have someone to love them back. You can’t love someone until you learn to love and appreciate yourself first. It all starts with ourselves. So, how do we make ourselves feel special without feeling cheesy or lonely while doing it? Try this:

1.)    Send yourself flowers. Have the card read “From your secret admirer, You are perfect in every way!” Or you can make is say anything else, but it needs to be positive. You are your best and worst critic. Reading something positive, even if it came from you, will help boost your confidence, make you smile and help make your day that much brighter. All of your coworkers, classmates and friends will think you have a secret admirer and will gush and awe over your beautiful delivery. If they ask if you know who it’s from just say no, smile and enjoy your beautiful gift from yourself.

2.)    While everyone else is out wining and dining each other, stay home and make yourself a lovely dinner with some wine and a great movie. This may sound like pouting to some but for introverts like myself, this sounds like a wonderful, quiet and relaxing evening. I’d even take a warm bubble bath and curl up with a good book.

3.)    If you don’t want to be alone you could always have a party. Fill your guest list with great friends, play silly games and dine on delicious foods. Hang decorations and pass out kids’ Valentine’s Day cards to each other. It may sound corny but it’s a really fun way to involve and interact with your friends. You just might spark that kid like feeling you had  not so long ago.

4.)    Reserve a table for a group of friends at a fancy restaurant. Have a wonderful evening with talking, eating and maybe sipping some bubbly. Who wouldn’t want to get fancied up and have a fun evening dining on decadent foods?

5.)    Splurge on yourself. Buy yourself something you’ve been wanting for a while. Make sure it's something that makes you feel special. Maybe you've been eyeing that pretty watch for a while or there's this purse you keep putting off purchasing. It's your day, treat yourself.

6.)    Make yourself feel great inside by doing something with a humanitarian group.     A) Volunteer at a local soup kitchen, shelter or hospital. You could even make and pass out care bags to the homeless. B) Hospitals always need volunteers. You could snuggle babies (yes that is a thing), read to kids, and pass out Valentines to random people in the hospital because no one wants to be in the hospital during a holiday. You just might make someone happy which might help them recover quicker.  C) Volunteer at an animal shelter or adopt a pet from there. Animals need love on Valentines as well. Just be careful if you didn’t plan on adopting. If you are anything like me, you will usually end up going home with a furry new friend.

7.)  Write yourself love notes. You can write inspirational posts or things you love about yourself. 

8.)  And just learn to have fun while you're still single. Learn to love yourself.

 Yes Valentines can be a lonely day for many people. Maybe you recently lost someone, your relationship just ended, or you feel like you’re going to be alone forever. For some, Valentines triggers dark and horrible emotions, and it’s hard for them to overcome them. Maybe they have had horrible things happen to them on previous Valentines Day. It is really hard for some to overcome past traumas. So just know, if you are going through a tough time on Valentines, there are ways around those feelings. Make yourself feel loved by you. Maybe you see someone else having a tough time on Valentines. Make them feel special with a gift, card or note that lets them know they are appreciated and special to you. A kind word goes a long way and you just might make that persons and your Valentines Day the best one yet.