Baby showers are always supposed to be such a joyous occasion. You get to dote on the mama-to-be and offer her all of your best parenting advice, discuss birthing stories and play baby related games. Many of the baby shower stories you hear are wonderful stories. I have two. One is a great one, the other not so much. Today's blog post is for Watch out Wednesday so I am going to tell you about my horrible baby shower experience and give you tips on how you can avoid sharing a similar story.
I was very blessed with my first baby. I had a horrible pregnancy but behind me was a wonderful support team. My husband is in the military and lived several hours from our family members. We decided for the sake of travel expenses, to just have a baby shower near family instead of spend the money on two showers. A few friends, who lived next to us at the time, were upset they couldn't attend and demanded a second baby shower be thrown near them. Now, if you're a hormonal pregnant woman who just likes to appease everyone (like me) you'll stress yourself out over this as etiquette states the mama never throws her own shower. j
This is where my husband and a few friends stepped in. They decided to throw me the second shower to quiet those upset friends. Long story short, those "friends" turned out to completely negate their responsibilities, decided not to plan anything and didn't even show to the shower. I ended up throwing my own baby shower near my home. This made me put out money I didn't want to, made my pregnancy harder due to the extra stress, and I heard a ton of horrible rumors from said friend about myself. Apparently I demanded an expensive, specially made cake, extravagant decor and required specific food items. This was not the case at all. I was asked what I wanted and I gave a few ideas of what the person supposedly planning the shower could do and do it as cheaply as possible. I am no longer friends with this person but wish them well.
I loved my second shower just as much as the first (if you read Tuesdays post you'll see photos from that shower) and ended up having it done right. I learned a lot from this experience and have come up with some hostess etiquette tips for those planning on throwing someone a baby shower in the near future.
- Etiquette states that the mama-to-be never throws her own shower. This falls on family and friends to take up the challenge and plan a killer shower for these expectant parents. Never make the mama do any of the work. You can ask her what she would like as it is her shower. If she makes some demands then that's OK. Remember, she has been waiting a long time to be able to celebrate this growing life inside of her.
- The host/hostess pays for the party. The expectant parents should not have to purchase any of the food, decor, venue or entertainment items as they should be saving for diapers and formula.
- Always ask the mama what she wants. Some mamas have dreamed of their baby shower since the day they found out they were preggo. This is a day that's all about them and baby. Let her pick the theme, type of decor, food, and so on. You, the host, get to do all the work making it happen.
- Follow a timeline for planning. Make sure you send out the invites by a certain date, order the food and cake, hire a photographer and rent the venue. There are timelines posted on our pinterest page if you need one to follow.
- The expectant parents-to-be are to never clean up after the celebration. This is the hosts' job. The parents' job is to make sure all the gifts get to their home safely.
- The host is supposed to purchase thank you cards for the parents-to-be to fill out and send.
- When throwing an even, you want things to run smoothly. Make an outline or schedule of the days events this way you can easily transition from one game to the next and don't have your guests there for hours. You want to make sure your celebration doesn't last for more than 2-3 hours. If guests want to mingle for a while and talk then that is OK as long as you have the venue covered for a lengthy time.
- If you are a mama-to-be and your host backs out then try and find someone else you rely on to help. In my case I had to do the work as no one else was willing. Then and only then is it ok for the mama to throw her own baby shower. Your baby shower is supposed to be a fun and relaxing day for you to enjoy. Not to stress over what game you'll play next and if there's enough ice.
I hope you have a wonderful celebration welcoming your newest member to your family. My hope for you is that it is a stress free and relaxing day you will be able to remember with joyous thoughts. Please don't forget to subscribe to our page!